08-17-2023, 03:59 AM
One thing that I will add is that I think it would be best to keep the hose water rainbow image together on the same line. Breaking it on rainbows forces the author to pause unnecessarily to reassemble the image from rainbows in general to a specific one with the key sensory experience tied in. It saps some of the energy out of the initial impact of the image. That image is what makes the piece, in my opinion, so I think it's important to give it the best presentation possible. The risk is that rainbows by itself might seem overdone or cliche in some way, but the hose water is what keeps it from actually being some kind of overly romanticized, throw-away stock image.