08-11-2023, 06:24 AM
This is an original idea -- we always think of the moon and the tides as linked, but putting the tragic love story in there is great. What keeps this one from being epic in my mind is the absence of meter or a basic rhyme scheme (doesn't have to be end rhyme). Even more assonance would help. Content here is great, but meter would put it over the top. Probably iambs because that one is gentle and unobtrusive.
One trick that free-versers will frequently do is to put a rhyme 3 or 4 lines back from the final line. Helps give a sense of closure at the end. Slant/partial rhyme works well so it doesn't draw too much attention to itself.
Hope this helps,
Lizzie
One trick that free-versers will frequently do is to put a rhyme 3 or 4 lines back from the final line. Helps give a sense of closure at the end. Slant/partial rhyme works well so it doesn't draw too much attention to itself.
Hope this helps,
Lizzie