Draft 5: A Bogeyman

[TranquillityBase]

from the balcony; gold shot
from the shadows, snatching
my attention. Past the yard, there's darkness,
cool and wet where things that may not be        this is quite a mouthful/eyeful; I'd suggest trying to find a briefer/clearer phrase; "transient creatures"? "phantom presences"? does "things" refer to inanimate or animate or both?
hide in the gossiping of leaves. Maybe     great image

I shouldn't be out here digging
right now. I dust my knees, set down
the garden shovel, then headed back inside.   ?

Before climbing up the balcony steps,  gets a little iffy here; I think you should mention the creek somehow in first stanza; the creek comes out of nowhere
there was a ring, lodged in silt   I saw a ring.....
beneath the softly flowing creek,   
winking in the light.                      not sure about "winking"; flickering, flashing?

Wires clattering, I found him stooped   not sure wires "clatter" 
beneath his desk. Dad, look.
I held out his relief. Time              another good line, makes reader wonder why it's a relief

went on until I was a pirate,          OK, having already read the poem to the end, I'm aware you are playing with time; so maybe something to indicate that here; or maybe cut it.
swinging from a blanket tethered 
to my upper bunk bed, when I heard 
him and Ma yelling in the living room.

Their words are bitter as a morning     you are mixing tenses quite liberally; I'm not sure if it's deliberate or not
coffee without the routine sugar.
I'm not sure what I can do.

I leave my room and see
Ma go outside
to fling something          here's the aha! moment, when reader looks up to the beginning and realizes you're taking him in a circle

AR,

What you are doing here is very interesting (and ambitious).  For me, it works.

I don't know if it matters, but I didn't study past versions or comments before critiquing this version.

TqB