For All the Things That Cannot be Changed
#4
(07-25-2023, 01:13 PM)Lizzie Wrote:  For All the Things That Cannot be Changed

When I set the table tonight, I left you 
a bread knife to slice the turkey. 
It appears as if I don't know think this line adds anything to the poem, it could be cut imo.
I've misplaced the carving tools, then put out
the rough and rumpled linens whose fibers resist 
the iron. Fragility of mind, no doubt. I think you cutting the 'the' at the beginning of this line would make it a bit tighter.
I forgot the butter for your place setting,
while an ample glass of Prosecco welcomes my hand;
you're going to have to reach over me
for those potatoes. A heavy gravy 
keeps the table runner pinned;
smooth and dark, 
it covers all sins. These last seven lines are lovely. 
I really enjoyed this, Lizzie - 'you're going to have to reach over me for those potatoes.' is a line that can be buried in the brain and dug up whenever one needs to smile. It is strengthened by the line that surround it as well.
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RE: For All the Things That Cannot be Changed - by Wjames - 07-30-2023, 04:00 PM



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