Teacup Ride(edit 2)

[brynmawr1]

Like a needle in its groove
his finger traces the lines
and faces to set again in motion
the horizontal hair, bodies curved
against the electric rainbow blur.
Only serendipity of light, 
shutter speed and aperture
could capture, so bright, 
the eyes and the smiles,
the echo of laughter within
the twirl and spin
of a mother and daughter.

Poking around the tattered
pages of the past I found
a photo from Disneyland.
Horizontal hair, bodies curved by motion,
the background an electric rainbow blur.
Only serendipity of light, 
shutter speed and aperture
could capture, so bright, 
the eyes and the smiles,
the echo of laughter within
the twirl and spin
of a mother and daughter.


Poking around I found
a photo from Disneyland.
The background an electric rainbow blur
their hair horizontal, bodies
curved in motion.  Only serendipity 
of light, shutter speed and aperture
could capture with clarity the eyes 
and the smiles; the almost echo
of laughter within
the spin and twirl
of a mother and daughter.


Poking around I found
a photo from Disney.
The background an electric rainbow blur
their hair horizontal, bodies
curved by motion.  Only serendipity 
of ISO, shutter speed and aperture
could capture with clarity the eyes 
and the smiles; almost an echo
of laughter contained
in the spin and twirl
of a mother and daughter.

The newest version keeps one guessing who the man taking the picture is. It pretty clearly isn't the ride itself, although the poem doesn't make that clear. Leaves one pondering whether the person watching them is good or evil...

Without the context you provide for the photographer in previous versions, the piece doesn't feel sentimental or beautiful, just kind of creepy.

Hi OMG,
Interesting perspective of fresh eyes.  Hadn't considered that.  Always the pit fall of the author forgetting no one can read all the other context that lives in our heads.  Maybe a slight title adjustment will help?  Something to ponder.

Thanks for the comments and welcome to Pig Pen.
bryn