07-28-2023, 08:32 AM
(07-04-2023, 07:30 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote: Like a needle in its groove
his finger traces the lines
and faces to set again in motion
the horizontal hair, bodies curved
against the electric rainbow blur.
Only serendipity of light,
shutter speed and aperture
could capture, so bright,
the eyes and the smiles,
the echo of laughter within
the twirl and spin
of a mother and daughter.
Bravissimo! I think the new first lines are very satisfying and I like that the reader will only realize it is a photograph in the second half. Always good to keep'em guessing a bit.