Hands (ver. 5)

[TranquillityBase]

Hey TqB,
I like the expanded version.  I've been thinking of starting a separate thread related to whether it is always best to reduce a poem to its heart.  
Thanks for the like.  I hope you do start that thread.  

But I digress.  Hands are a powerful metaphor for our lives.  There are stories from my life that are only written in the lines on my hands.  But our hands are more than a record of the past but a means to a future.  We don't ask them. We ask of them, to provide either answers or labor.  I'm digressing again!  

Fourth stanza isn't working that well for me but I don't want to muddle around with your vision for the poem.  
Yes, IV is the most recent and I've been trying different endings.  I'm not especially happy with what is there now.  After III it just feels like I need one more, some kind of summing up.

Only my thoughts so take it or leave it as you prefer.
bryn

Excellent critique, thank you.  I only disagree with the one in III; it really does feel like the tips are still there, and able to penetrate matter.

Digress as much as you like; it's all interesting stuff.

TqB

___________________________________________

posted a new version, with a rewritten section IV.  if your not sick of it, let me know what you think. better or worse?