For All the Things That Cannot be Changed

[Knot]

Hi Lizzie,
I enjoyed the middle, in fact I'd enjoy more of it. They voice, particularly that 'no doubt' is nicely sharp. I don't think the opening line is needed, and the ending (which arrives too soon) feels a little too predictable. It's the phrasing, not the thought. Actually, it's the thought, but just a little. Seems a trifle late to be suggesting that the meal itself was ... poorly prepared. Of course, if you were to expand the middle, and include some of the foods inadequacies? Drop some hints, but only hints, as to the wider context.

Did you consider couplets?

Apparently I've misplaced the carving tools,
left a bread knife for you to slice the turkey.

And those rough and rumpled linens I put out
are ...? (not the one's your mother brought us?)

Fragility of mind. No doubt. That's why
I forgot the butter for your place setting

not sure about that 'while' (while an ample glass) - it doesn't flow that well after butter, feels like you could include another 'mistake' between the two (maybe N could have burnt something here?)

while an ample glass of Prosecco welcomes my hand.
You're going to have to reach over me ................ I think this arrangement is a little funnier (the 'drunk' inference a bit more extreme.)


Best, Knot

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