07-24-2023, 09:39 PM
Alrighty then, Tim-
The expanded version puts more flesh on the bones.
Now just trim some of the fat, but beware the sharp things.
I’d consider ending II with a simple question, like “now what?” I know you have one.
III and IV need some attention, especially those last two lines.
I do like this version more.
Mark
The expanded version puts more flesh on the bones.
Now just trim some of the fat, but beware the sharp things.
I’d consider ending II with a simple question, like “now what?” I know you have one.
III and IV need some attention, especially those last two lines.
I do like this version more.
Mark