Hands (ver. 5)

[Mark A Becker]

I don't know if you saw the Spoiler version, but that is more what I wanted to write about when I began it.

No Tim- I had not read the spoiler, but now I have. That initial version is one that I immediately empathize with.  It shows to go ya that sometimes the initial inspiration is worth sticking to, at least for this reader.

An observation: I have done the same thing- contemplated my hands, as if asking (almost prayer-like), "now what?"  Our hands express so many of the ideas we have in our heads- from building things, to fixing things, to writing, etc.  That last stanza in the spoiler version could address that, and with just a little bit of that 'Tim magic' it could make this poem really grab hold of the reader. 

In my book, the spoiler version is the far superior version, because it makes this reader feel something. It resonates with me. The current version doesn't offer the handshake that the original does.

Glad I read that spoiler,
Mark

ps. The 'delete' key has now replaced all that crumpled paper. It's more eco-friendly. If I saved all the iterations of my poems I'd get totally confused, so sometimes I just save the very first version.