Hands (ver. 5)

[alonso ramoran]

TqB,

Thank you for sharing! Thoughts below.

Hands

I study my hands
mechanical marvels 
stiff tentacles full of touch hands are full of touch but palms have nothing in them but the future? The metaphor reads with a contradiction that I think can be easily resolved
palms with nothing in them
but the future.

I’m asking them something,
just what I don’t know. if you want to keep the sentiment of this stanza, maybe you could add a modifier to "tomorrow" that captures this sentiment. Otherwise, these last 2 stanzas feel like they could be scrapped

I’m only sure they are mine. I like the stripped-down versions being suggested, especially Knot's. The ending feels stronger

Take care,
AR