01-14-2010, 02:03 PM
Hmm...
well, I'm not sure but i guess it has a quality that makes it sound a bit like prose, so it straddles poetry and prose. Maybe it's the word choices?
What I suggested before to her (though that would make the poem longer) is to play with it. Since the poem is titled 'Translation', she can do things to play with the form of the poem so it would reflect that idea more... maybe form the verses like puzzles or codes, or have them repetitive and reflecting. There are a lot of possibilities to spice it up
well, I'm not sure but i guess it has a quality that makes it sound a bit like prose, so it straddles poetry and prose. Maybe it's the word choices?What I suggested before to her (though that would make the poem longer) is to play with it. Since the poem is titled 'Translation', she can do things to play with the form of the poem so it would reflect that idea more... maybe form the verses like puzzles or codes, or have them repetitive and reflecting. There are a lot of possibilities to spice it up
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?