Draft 4.5: Alcyone Remembers (Dizain)

[TranquillityBase]

The green rays caught in eons of sunsets
flared with a nameless ache. The sudden sea
enclosed this home of only silhouettes
from pictures strewn among drywall debris.              This is an excellent rewrite.  The previous version wasn't nearly as effective.
Each missing dream was prayed for, uselessly,
through dawn's fog, rank with the mildewed decay
of sheets too large. Calls echoed every day                ditto for this rewrite; "sheets too large" is a bit of a puzzle, but other than that, I like this much better
down bright halls filled with dead time's sand, before   and this is better than "longing's sand"
oblivion returned your image, gray
like storm clouds. With my name, you washed ashore.

As I said above, this is a great improvement.
TqB