The Conquering Lion of Judah (new title, rev. 3)

[alonso ramoran]

The Conquering Lion of Judah

After a week away from home
my father often brought me souvenirs
from across the river
from Piedras Negras and Acuna:

a ceramic Aztec warrior,
a bullwhip made in a Mexican prison since these items are mentioned, i wish they held more weight within the poem. but they're mentioned once and not even alluded to afterward. what is the importance of these things in addition to the ring?
and once, for my birthday, a ring.

It had plumes of gold "plumes" is interesting word choice. it might just be this reader but im not clear on what exactly this is supposed to look like
surrounding a green sapphire
a lion engraved on its face.

He said,
“It’s the Conquering Lion of Judah,
King Haile Selassie 
who stood up to Mussolini
in the deserts of Ethiopia
a hero from my childhood.”

Below the lion was
the astrological sign for Leo. so i know in the previous version the N doesn't wanna wear the ring because their sign is a virgo. are there any details you could add to the poem that hints at this?
I didn’t feel like disappointing him,
but I never wore the ring. the ending feels a little flat here. instead, could you tell me where the ring is currently kept in its state of never being worn?

The Conquering Lion of Judah



When he got home late

every Thursday night

from Eagle Pass and Del Rio

after a week away from home

my father often brought me souvenirs

from across the river

from Piedras Negras and Acuna:

a ceramic Aztec warrior,

a bullwhip made, he said, in a Mexican prison

and once, for my birthday, a ring.

It had plumes of thick gold

surrounding a square green sapphire

engraved on its face

a gold lion and the sign for Leo.



I told him impatiently, I’m a Virgo

and he said, No, it’s the Conquering Lion of Judah.

It stands for King Haile Selassie

the one who stood up to Mussolini

in the deserts of Ethiopia,

hero of his childhood.



I was too young to accept his error

and blamed him for it

blind to what the lion offered him

and to what he was trying so hard

to offer to me.

Maybe you could play more with the astrology references since they come a little late in this poem without warning, or not; as of now the poem feels a little dry, so I think it just needs something extra to counter its telling.