The Conquering Lion of Judah (new title, rev. 3)

The Conquering Lion of Judah (new title, rev. 3)

busker

StarGazer

Posts: 470
Threads: 203
Joined: Dec 2017

07-08-2023, 06:41 AM

Love the new one. Perfect edit
I should probably crit more, but I like it as it is
I like the place names that ground the poem
I like the humour

I think the last two lines could be condensed, the penultimate line is a bit wordy. Minor quibble

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Messages In This Thread

The Conquering Lion of Judah (new title, rev. 3) - by TranquillityBase - 07-06-2023, 07:26 AM

RE: The Conquering Lion of Judah - by Knot - 07-08-2023, 12:33 AM

RE: The Conquering Lion of Judah - by TranquillityBase - 07-08-2023, 06:37 AM

RE: The Conquering Lion of Judah - by busker - 07-08-2023, 06:41 AM

RE: The Conquering Lion of Judah - by alonso ramoran - 07-08-2023, 06:11 PM

RE: The Conquering Lion of Judah - by Knot - 07-08-2023, 09:35 PM

RE: The Conquering Lion of Judah (new title, rev. 3) - by TranquillityBase - 07-08-2023, 11:30 PM

RE: The Conquering Lion of Judah (new title, rev. 3) - by Knot - 07-09-2023, 12:14 AM

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