The Conquering Lion of Judah (new title, rev. 3)

[Knot]

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Hi Tim,
I like the scene/idea, but that last verse is all tell and really doesn't deliver.

after a week away
my father often brought souvenirs
home from across the river
from Piedras Negras , from Acuna:

a ceramic Aztec warrior,
a nine foot bullwhip, he said, ................................ wonder if maybe you could cut 'he said' - makes me doubt what he says about the ring
made in a Mexican prison........................................ later - and describe the whip a bit more?
and, for my birthday, a ring

with plumes of thick gold
surrounding a green square sapphire
and engraved on its face
a gold lion and the sign for Leo. ..............The repetion of 'gold' the use of 'lion' and 'sign for Leo' - anything better?

he said, it’s the Conquering Lion
of Judah. which stands for Haile Selassie,
the King who stood up to Mussolini
in the deserts of Ethiopia,

He was my childhood hero.
I was too young to accept his error
and blamed him for it
blind to what the lion offered him

and to what he was trying so hard
to offer to me.


Best, Knot


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