Teacup Ride(edit 2)

[brynmawr1]

Poking around I found
a photo from Disney.
The background an electric rainbow blur
their hair horizontal, bodies
curved by motion.  Only serendipity 
of ISO, shutter speed and aperture           "ISO" doesn't mean anything to me; "exposure"?
could capture with clarity the eyes 
and the smiles; almost an echo
of laughter contained                  an echo/of laughter almost escapes/in the spin and twirl (?). contained is such a dull word.
in the spin and twirl
of a mother and daughter.

Lovely piece, a still life come alive as the reader reaches the end of the poem.
TqB

Hi TqB,
yes,, contained is very boring. Not sure my change is any better but at least there's a bit of rhyme to go with it.  Made other changes as per your suggestions.
Thanks for the comments,
bryn

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Poking around I found
a photo from Disney. Should this be one of Disneyland or Disney World"
The background an electric rainbow blur
their hair horizontal, bodies
curved by motion.  Only serendipity 
of ISO, shutter speed and aperture
could capture with clarity the eyes 
and the smiles; almost an echo
of laughter contained
in the spin and twirl
of a mother and daughter.

This is a nice vignette. The rhyme in the first line gives it momentum, but ISO slows it back down IMO. It makes the reader think rather than feel. "Echo of laughter" puts me too quickly in mind of Stairway to Heaven. Maybe "a refraction of laughter" would work.   I enjoyed it very much despite these little hiccups.

Hi Tiger,
Making Disney more specific does help.  Both you and TqB didn't like ISO.  I'll have to look up the Stairway to Heaven reference but the laughter stays for now.  Good one with refraction!
thanks for the suggestions,
bryn