Teacup Ride(edit 2)
#3
(07-04-2023, 07:30 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote:  Poking around I found
a photo from Disney. Should this be one of Disneyland or Disney World"
The background an electric rainbow blur
their hair horizontal, bodies
curved by motion.  Only serendipity 
of ISO, shutter speed and aperture
could capture with clarity the eyes 
and the smiles; almost an echo
of laughter contained
in the spin and twirl
of a mother and daughter.
This is a nice vignette. The rhyme in the first line gives it momentum, but ISO slows it back down IMO. It makes the reader think rather than feel. "Echo of laughter" puts me too quickly in mind of Stairway to Heaven. Maybe "a refraction of laughter" would work.  Hysterical  I enjoyed it very much despite these little hiccups.
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Messages In This Thread
Teacup Ride(edit 2) - by brynmawr1 - 07-04-2023, 07:30 AM
RE: Teacup Ride - by TranquillityBase - 07-04-2023, 08:30 AM
RE: Teacup Ride - by brynmawr1 - 07-04-2023, 12:50 PM
RE: Teacup Ride - by Tiger the Lion - 07-04-2023, 11:10 AM
RE: Teacup Ride - by Wjames - 07-04-2023, 01:41 PM
RE: Teacup Ride - by brynmawr1 - 07-04-2023, 10:41 PM
RE: Teacup Ride - by Knot - 07-04-2023, 11:28 PM
RE: Teacup Ride - by brynmawr1 - 07-05-2023, 04:10 AM
RE: Teacup Ride - by Knot - 07-06-2023, 12:03 AM
RE: Teacup Ride - by busker - 07-05-2023, 04:57 AM
RE: Teacup Ride - by brynmawr1 - 07-05-2023, 11:36 PM
RE: Teacup Ride - by Kynaston Levitt - 07-06-2023, 06:35 AM
RE: Teacup Ride(edit) - by brynmawr1 - 07-15-2023, 03:08 AM
RE: Teacup Ride(edit) - by TranquillityBase - 07-15-2023, 08:39 AM
RE: Teacup Ride(edit 2) - by brynmawr1 - 07-28-2023, 08:03 AM
RE: Teacup Ride(edit 2) - by TranquillityBase - 07-28-2023, 08:32 AM
RE: Teacup Ride(edit 2) - by O. M. Geezersnaps - 07-28-2023, 01:15 PM
RE: Teacup Ride(edit 2) - by brynmawr1 - 07-28-2023, 11:34 PM



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