W4T (new title, revision, saying goodbye to this poem)

[Knot]

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Hi Tim,
I agree with Busker, the revision hasn't improved things. I think the need to rhyme is an impediment. Say what you've got to say, rhyme later, or not!

(I can't make much of sense of S3 - so, with that in mind ...)


These are the hot months:

you sit there so still
as if you were all mirrors

the experts speak earnestly
in earasable ink

an inside job, they say

I can't find any way
to escape the lies

I smell on your breath.
...


Best, Knot

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