Draft 4.5: Alcyone Remembers (Dizain)

[TranquillityBase]

Soon after watching thousands of sunsets
for green rays with a nameless ache, the sea
surrounded this shelter for silhouettes         with (?)
from pictures strewn among drywall debris.
Lost dreams cost dawns to search for, fruitlessly,     caused (?) instead of cost
in this bright fog and mildewy decay     the (?) / mildewed instead of mildewy (?)
of an empty bed. Calls echoed every day
down hallways filled with longing's sand, before        "longing's sand" may be a bridge too far; maybe another word in there would help; "longing's drifted sand" (?)
oblivion returned your visage, gray
like storm clouds. With my name, you washed ashore.           Really like this final line.

A somewhat puzzling poem, but it's the kind of puzzle I enjoy.  

TqB