06-26-2023, 08:55 AM
Soon after watching thousands of sunsets for green rays with a nameless ache, the sea surrounded this shelter for silhouettes from pictures strewn among drywall debris.this first sentence is very confusing, almost too many 'for of from among' words. Pictures strewn among drywall debris is a pretty great line
Lost dreams cost dawns to search for, fruitlessly, in this bright fog and mildewy decay
of empty bed. Very very lofty speech, I get this one, but maybe a different adjective than 'bright'
Calls echoed every day down hallways filled with longing's sand, before oblivion returned your visage, gray
like storm clouds. Sand is a kind of jolting word, it's another sea reference, maybe not 'longing's' sand, just sand.
With my name, you washed ashore.i like the my name after the nameless ache, I love the enjambment between your lines, Its just a little too confusing with ideas to me. Thanks for sharing
Lost dreams cost dawns to search for, fruitlessly, in this bright fog and mildewy decay
of empty bed. Very very lofty speech, I get this one, but maybe a different adjective than 'bright'
Calls echoed every day down hallways filled with longing's sand, before oblivion returned your visage, gray
like storm clouds. Sand is a kind of jolting word, it's another sea reference, maybe not 'longing's' sand, just sand.
With my name, you washed ashore.i like the my name after the nameless ache, I love the enjambment between your lines, Its just a little too confusing with ideas to me. Thanks for sharing
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches