First and Last Days (A Little Prayer, revised, new title)

[TranquillityBase]

Hi TqB,
This does seem to be the essence of the narrator's vision.  But i wonder how my interpretation is influenced by previous versions.  I think the value of the differences between the versions is better measured in style and I don't mean superficially but more lyrical vs narrative.  That, I think, is something for you to decide.
bryn

Bryn,
Thanks for the read and comments.  This one is giving me trouble.  
TqB

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For what it’s worth, the original was the real deal

Thanks Busker,

I've retrieved the original and am going to give it another going over.  The first part of the poem just seemed too laborious in the days after I initially wrote it.  Re-reading it now, I see possibilities in it.  I kept cutting because the lines about the angels' glance were the only ones that pleased me any longer.

TqB