First and Last Days (A Little Prayer, revised, new title)

[brynmawr1]

First and Last Days

My eyes signal 
that I’m still here
to angels who glance 
and turn away
sometimes with pity,
sometimes with surprise.

First and Last Days



My childhood is back,

its vengeance is divine,

buzzing in my ears like flies.

But this time round I’m an orphan,

set adrift by too much time 

on an ocean of night sweats 

and dreams of misunderstood faces,

my body a waterlogged raft

too stubborn to sink 

and let the nightmares devour it. 



My eyes frantically signal 

the young that I’m still a child

angels who glance 

at my mortality and turn away

sometimes with pity,

sometimes with surprise.











A Little Prayer



“I’ll wait for Jesus, if he’ll wait for me” (graffiti)







I’m a broken old man



adrift on a sea of night sweats



and misunderstood faces,



my body a waterlogged raft



too stubborn to sink decently 



and let the deep devour me at last.







If it’s all the same to you,



my life was an absurd one.



Who knew absurdity



could become so fragile?



Now it creaks, exudes foul gases,



disgusts the young



who see the pale rider 



behind my eyes



and turn away, angels



who glance towards the damned,



sometimes with pity,



sometimes with surprise.







I know there’s a joke



at the end of this empty math.



I just hope I can laugh



when the punchline comes.

Hi TqB,
This does seem to be the essence of the narrator's vision.  But i wonder how my interpretation is influenced by previous versions.  I think the value of the differences between the versions is better measured in style and I don't mean superficially but more lyrical vs narrative.  That, I think, is something for you to decide.
bryn