Wristwatch (edit3)
#6
edit2;

Wristwatch
 

Left it lying on the dresser
curled face-down
spider waiting
for its chance to tangle me
in its web of sticky time.

Missed its weight in minutes
looped it back in place
caught up again.




Thanks for all the good critique.  Though some lines were liked, I'm leaning toward radical simplification in hopes that ambiguity will substitute beneficially for detail.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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Messages In This Thread
Wristwatch (edit3) - by dukealien - 06-11-2023, 08:19 AM
RE: Snagged - by Knot - 06-11-2023, 09:39 PM
RE: Snagged - by dukealien - 06-12-2023, 04:57 AM
RE: Day Watch (edit - title change) - by Knot - 06-12-2023, 08:15 PM
RE: Wristwatch (edit2 - 'nother title change) - by dukealien - 06-13-2023, 04:25 AM
RE: Wristwatch (edit3) - by dukealien - 06-16-2023, 10:17 AM
RE: Wristwatch (edit3) - by Knot - 06-16-2023, 09:32 PM



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