06-12-2023, 01:17 AM
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Hi Bunx.
Seems to me you've two poems here - blue and red - related in subject matter, granted, but they're rather getting in each other's way. I think blue packs an emotional punch, red seems rather more like venting (which isn't necessarily a negative.)
Do your best.
Leave the rest
To Jesus.
My mom said in regards
to my mental health advocacy.
She might as well said,
"Well at least you're healthy
just let your peers be forgotten".
I've seen a preacher
mumbling nonsense
claiming to be healer.
Curing cancers,
crippled folks walking
Pray away the pandemic
answer your pastors calling.
No questions please, only tithing.
Let go and let God
policy of the privileged................. don't know if this is true, but it does give one pause for thought (and it seems to conclude verse 2.)
Survival of the fittest,
Knell to the richest.
I'm sick of trusting
the notion of karma.
No one holds a capitalists accountable.
Especially big pharma.
Cures make for bad business.
Treatment with side effects
leading to another product
the pharmacy might have in stock.
Great, looks like I'm in luck.
Living to work another day.
Last week I got a raise,
God is good they say. ............. I liked this little moment of bitterness.
I'm an ex-Catholic with schizoaffective.
My memory is so bad
I use my poems to be reflective. ......... the sudden rhyme tripped me up.
I remember being a young adult
letting go on a reservation church ...... don't know what 'letting go' means here (and it's likely I don't need to.)
hoping, praying, asking, begging
to stop taking these pills
that made me feel so numb.
What I wish my mom would have said.
Is be true to yourself day by day.
Never stop righteously rambling
for those you love.
You don't need permission from me, ..... be nice if you could end with this line, I think
or from above.
To love you're friends, be a living witness. .......... how does 'witness' square with 'ex-Catholic'?
That time heals wounds. ....... might want to avoid the cliché (on the other hand it sounds honest/sincere so maybe not. I know. Helpful, right?)
Inner trust silences unwanted voices.
You are able to make the right choices.
Live life to love listen to your hurting friends.
Compassion, honesty,
stay grounded till you mend.
Don't be worried about the end.
Best, Knot
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