One-way Ticket (new title) final...

[TranquillityBase]

The low whistle
of the early train 
leaving me awake
 
on the hard side
of dreaming for
the sound of return.
 
Down in the valley
a dog barks
to be let back in.
 
Covers tugged
to my chin, I listen
to birds barter for love.
 
My feet searching
the chill settle
each for the other.

Hi Bryn,

To this reader, this reads and feels like the finished product.  You came a long way on this one!  I suppose more could be added, but the essential is all there.  those first two stanzas are superb.

thanks for the read.

TqB