One-way Ticket (new title) final...

[brynmawr1]

I don't think you need to end it with a reference back to the opening. At least in the current form, it doesn't add much to the poem IMO
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This seems to be the consensus.  Made some other changes.
thanks for reading and commenting.
bryn

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I noted that you cut the 'barter for love' stanza, ouch!

Oops. My bad. Nothing wrong with that stanza (and its omission wasn't intentional.)

The birds set up the feet, you really don't need that last verse, and, if you'll allow, the reader will bring their own context (so yes, I think you are overthinking ).


Best, Knot


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Good, cause that is one of my favorites!  Made some additional changes and thinking of cutting all the 'it's cold here stuff' and letting the reader fill in the gaps in their own way.
thanks for your help.
Bryn