06-07-2023, 06:17 AM
(06-02-2023, 01:40 PM)brynmawr1 Wrote: It’s cold hereBryn,
but it shouldn't be
in mid-May.
The low whistle
of the early train leaving
wakes me in the dim light.
In the distance Somewhere (?)
a dog cries begging
to be let back in.
Covers tugged tight
to my chin, I listen
to birds barter for love.
My feet searching
the chill only to settle
each for the other.
Twenty-five years
it would have been
mid-May.
Like this edit, you've added some nice detail. I do feel like maybe there should be another stanza, just before the ending stanza. I'm not sure what I want it to say exactly, but I want one more hint about why those feet are alone in bed, or what else is happening to the narrator.
TqB

