Ironic Haiku

[brynmawr1]

A blue flower's bloom
basks in an orange summer sun
waiting for the rain.

Doesn't "orange" add one syllable too many?  Also, I've just never seen an orange sun, except maybe at dawn or sunset.

What about "dry summer sun".  That would lead into "waiting for the rain"?  Otherwise, I'd change last line, adding maybe another color.

TqB

Hi TqB,

Details, details.  It's funny, I say 'orange' with one syllable....'ornge' so I didn't catch it.  I might rethink the last two lines a bit.  Not sure why I get myself into these things.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Bryn

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A blue flower's bloom
basks in an orange summer sun
waiting for the rain.

Doesn't "orange" add one syllable too many?  Also, I've just never seen an orange sun, except maybe at dawn or sunset.

What about "dry summer sun".  That would lead into "waiting for the rain"?  Otherwise, I'd change last line, adding maybe another color.

TqB

I like the flow of orange summer sun though and the orange sun makes sense to me . . . could also say "hot orange sun" to keep the summer feeling. "Bright orange sun" "Burnt orange sun" "Fierce orange sun" 

I am championing the orange sun, but you should probably say "dry summer sun"

Hi VP,

I like the orange summer sun too, but rules are rules.  Although I can not call it a haiku and I'm good!
Take care,
Bryn