Make and Believe (rev.)

[Wjames]

Make and Believe

Dreams of future past
hunt me down
in the briar patch of sleep
but I’m no Brer Rabbit
just a man at the frayed end
of a knotted string of hopes. This is nice, especially these last two lines.

Brer Fox promises death
yet even that signature eludes me, Is 'signature' the right word? Maybe 'balm'?
I guess I’m too clever I agree with rowens, you could remove 'I'.
for my own good.
A life of syllables
demands more words
uttered in casual despair. This sentence seems to be the heart of the poem referenced in the title - saying negative things to yourself often becomes self-fulfilling, I like it.

So I talk to myself I disagree with rowens, I like talk to myself more than just, 'I talk myself' - I think talking to yourself reinforces who is believing.
and that seems enough
to satisfy the eternal storybook.
It demands a different ending
every time I look up. This ending is ambiguous to me - is it some sort of suicidal ideation type thing where the narrator is always thinking of different ways of ending things? It is not clear - which is fine, and can sort of enhance the poem because it made me spend some time thinking on it.

Hello Tranquil, this was a nice one. It's very different from the way that I write, so I find it difficult to make suggestions for improvement, but hopefully my thoughts are useful to you.