05-17-2023, 12:04 AM
I ran to scatter the birds today, ~ I like the imagery, although I like Rowens suggestion for the wording!
needing a direction to release energy. ~ this line feels a bit lackluster
The freedom of flight is felt in my speed, ~I like it, but does “freedom of flight qualify as a cliche’? (Idk)
blood pumping as the weight of the world ~my favorite line, it feels substantial
is lifted and leaves me thinking I can fly. ~I like how this line feels lighter than the previous, maybe you could add to that!
Until the birds show me what true flight is. ~I like the meaning, ties it up nicely.
needing a direction to release energy. ~ this line feels a bit lackluster
The freedom of flight is felt in my speed, ~I like it, but does “freedom of flight qualify as a cliche’? (Idk)
blood pumping as the weight of the world ~my favorite line, it feels substantial
is lifted and leaves me thinking I can fly. ~I like how this line feels lighter than the previous, maybe you could add to that!
Until the birds show me what true flight is. ~I like the meaning, ties it up nicely.