05-16-2023, 11:10 PM
(05-15-2023, 11:52 AM)Poetry In Motion Wrote: Hunter of NightwatchPIM,
listens carefully with elven-shaped ears. listen / your elven-shaped ears
See what is lurking in the night
then you will hunt with ease.
Strike with your bow, an arrow of choice.
Leave all dead in your wake, this is a warning
to all those eavesdropping on his kill. your
Sound buoys along in one’s ear, you are dead
hearing his crunchy footsteps.
Smell the rotting flesh from his enchanting slaughter.
Slaughter in the woods! Slaughter in the woods!
They shout.
A few suggested changes to keep the poem consistent since you are addressing the Hunter through most of the poem. As for content, this is a pretty strange poem (not a criticism) that feels like it comes from a larger mythology. I looked up "Hunter of Nightwatch" and it referenced "the Nightwatch series". Is that your source of inspiration?
It ends somewhat abruptly, and a few more lines, again addressing the Hunter, some kind of summing up, would improve the ending..
TqB