05-14-2023, 01:43 AM
There were a couple of things that caught my eye:
~ Was 'vegees' an intentional typo for veggies? I was a bit confused by that spelling as it kept cropping up.
~ Shocked I was by an eerie sight. The pigsfeet sprouted WINGS !
They hovered over the table. The guests were wide-eyed shocked.
I don't know if it's best to put "shocked" down twice, and so close together. Maybe you could say "Stunned I was by an eerie sight" and leave "shocked" for the next line?
Aside from these little things, the poem feels very solid. I love how your rhymes don't come across as forced and the bursts of strategic capitalization are punchy and bold. Such a fun piece of work, great job!
~ Was 'vegees' an intentional typo for veggies? I was a bit confused by that spelling as it kept cropping up.
~ Shocked I was by an eerie sight. The pigsfeet sprouted WINGS !
They hovered over the table. The guests were wide-eyed shocked.
I don't know if it's best to put "shocked" down twice, and so close together. Maybe you could say "Stunned I was by an eerie sight" and leave "shocked" for the next line?
Aside from these little things, the poem feels very solid. I love how your rhymes don't come across as forced and the bursts of strategic capitalization are punchy and bold. Such a fun piece of work, great job!