Haste

Haste

Tiger the Lion Offline

The Whispered Roar

Posts: 786
Threads: 439
Joined: May 2014

03-28-2023, 12:09 PM

(03-28-2023, 11:14 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote:
(03-28-2023, 03:51 AM)Semicircle Wrote: Haste

The bounding footfalls
of laden soles on cave rock
echoing louder
Hey Sc,

my suggestions if you were to abandon the 5-7-5. 'Laden soles' has such strong meaning, I'm not sure you need a lot around it.
Good one,
bryn

bounding footfalls
of laden soles
echo on cave rock

so many ways to go with this

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Messages In This Thread

Haste - by Semicircle - 03-28-2023, 03:51 AM

RE: Haste - by Tiger the Lion - 03-28-2023, 04:21 AM

RE: Haste - by Semicircle - 03-28-2023, 10:47 AM

RE: Haste - by brynmawr1 - 03-28-2023, 11:14 AM

RE: Haste - by Tiger the Lion - 03-28-2023, 12:09 PM

RE: Haste - by Semicircle - 03-29-2023, 03:43 AM

RE: Haste - by Tiger the Lion - 03-29-2023, 04:16 AM

RE: Haste--Hiccup - by Semicircle - 03-29-2023, 06:19 AM

RE: Haste--Hiccup - by Mark A Becker - 04-02-2023, 02:31 AM

RE: Haste--Hiccup - by Semicircle - 04-03-2023, 02:55 AM

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