Memento

[brynmawr1]

Memento

I was with him when he found it
discarded among cedar and limestone,            period or semi-colon
the skull of an 8-point buck that he plated
with chips from a shattered mirror.

A memento of my son’s painstaking labor -
breaking the mirror, selecting the chips,
affixing them, patient and compelled.          sort of want this to end without the 'and'.   ...patient, compelled.

I look into the skull’s mirror,
meditate on the chaos/ of my visage          This stanza has some potential for nice enjambment if you want it but it messes with your line structure.
reflected/ back in a kaleidoscope of loss.

In its reflection, this curiosity of bone and silvered glass,    agree with Mark, should be S3
could he see into an indifferent universe 
where his future would be denied?

It’s a universe we share. He is father to my grief
and I am father to his memory.   period
that time has fused by the happenstance of now.   A reflection...   could also consider cutting 'the' and 'of now'

Memento



I was with him when he found it

discarded among cedar and limestone,

the skull of an 8-point buck 

now plated with chips from a shattered mirror,

a memento of my son’s painstaking labor

breaking the mirror, selecting the chips,

affixing them, patient and compelled.



I look into the skull’s mirror,

meditate on the chaos of my visage

reflected back in a kaleidoscope of loss.



What did he see in its reflection, 

this curiosity of bone and silvered glass?

Could he see into an indifferent universe 

where his future would be denied?



It’s a universe we share. He is father to my grief

and I am father to his memory

that time has fused into the happenstance of now.

Hi TqB,
Late again but I had to read this many times to feel like I had something worthy to offer.  As others, this is a well done poem.  My only sticking point is in the last line with the word 'happenstance' which means coincidence by my figuring; it doesn't quite work for me.  Though I love 'happenstance'  i made a suggestion but not sure it solves it.
take care,
bryn