Memento

[TranquillityBase]

As with 'Rayuela', when you write about your son, you do so with the firm, yet soft touch of a loving father. As a father myself, I can feel your words in my chest.

Thanks for the very cogent critique.  I've already typed it up, but am waiting (always hard for me) to see if others react.  Basically I think you made some important clarifications (and kept me from ruining the last line with a repetitive "now") and I like the way it looks in the shorter stanzas.  Slow down the reader.....yes, important lesson, thanks

Combining the two questions into one also eliminated some ambiguity that the first one would trigger that I don't want triggering.  

I sometimes fear I write about my son too much....but his death is pretty much the defining fact of my current existence, so how can I not? 

Tim 

___________________________ i asked myself what i was waiting for, so edit has now been posted