Geese

[Mark A Becker]

Geese


A blizzard no capital 'B'

like powdered amnesia

hushes land and sky-- this is a brilliant image !


horizon's lost all meaning.    why did you italicize 'horizon's'  ??


This isn’t a noble place

but the soil is red   maybe 'though the soil's royal red'  ?? 

and sometimes the river freezes over in gold

like god is an artery cut through our centre    I'd lose 'an artery' since the river is gold, and ateries are red.  Maybe 'God has cut... ??


and still people work  'people go to work' ?? or something like that, even though there's a blizzard

descending through the days  maybe something more specific than 'through the days' like 'on the town'

like geese in perfect pitch

of pale plumes and snowfall.   the poem ends here for me

Well, Miley, those first 3 lines are worth the price of admission.  Please understand that words I've suggested are just that- suggestions.  For me, the poem ends with the comparison of people to geese.  I just get lost in the storm with what comes after that.

Mark