Immigrants

[Mark A Becker]

There are a couple of minor niggles which result from defining the viewpoint as a native person (with "we," "our").  Would an aboriginal person recognize a "cross" as such?  And would he recognize "steel" when even advanced North American natives were limited to copper and obsidian?  Not to mention Caribean islanders?

As for addressing those difficulties, perhaps showing would serve further:  sharp gleams in their hands, touching our beach?

Yes duke-
The central problem with any poem like this is using 'anglo-language' to describe the experience felt by Native Americans. I was aware of this flaw, and appreciate that you point it out. I was hoping that someone would.

That said, the only way I can write this poem is using 'anglo-language'. I don't know what language Native Americans used, and even if I did, and used it, the poem would then require that anglo readers understand that language. That would require a lot of work on the reader's part. Will readers see this flaw and be motivated to research native american language- maybe, but probably not.

I don't know that many native languages spoken in that time period even exist anymore, so even if I did know that language it may not make sense to anyone in the present. It's a very, very interesting point, and has led me to better understand native languages, circa 1600.  Heck, even the English language has undergone many changes since then. Long story short, I wrote in the language familiar to me, and most readers.   

Very good observation! And thanks for that comment,
Mark

ps. structural note: this piece uses 14 syllable stanzas, and each stanza is 6-5-3.. There is obvious end rhyming.  I wanted this form to remain as invisible as possible, while emphasizing the anapests (--/) of each last line: 'on the shore/at our door/where they kneel/full of steel'.  I also wanted the perspective of each stanza to 'move closer', from 'ships' to 'boats to 'men' to 'eyes'.

I imposed the form in order to force myself to be precise with word choices.  The crits offered were very helpful in leading me to the final form.

The Powhatan language was an Algonkian tongue, also known as Virginia Algonkian, once spoken by dozens of small tribes in tidewater Virginia. None of the Powhatan dialects have been spoken natively for nearly 300 years.