Immigrants

[dukealien]

Immigrants

Crooked wooden crosses
rise above strange ships
on the shore.

Cutting through morning mist
small boats have closed in
at our door.

Odd men with bright banners
pull on to dry land,
where they kneel.

They meet us with their eyes
full of wonder, hands
full of steel.

I agree (after cursory look over the previous versions) that the current revision is much improved - and quite good.  It shows rather than tells, while avoiding excessive detail.  Impactful and well done.

There are a couple of minor niggles which result from defining the viewpoint as a native person (with "we," "our").  Would an aboriginal person recognize a "cross" as such?  And would he recognize "steel" when even advanced North American natives were limited to copper and obsidian?  Not to mention Caribean islanders?

As for addressing those difficulties, perhaps showing would serve further:  sharp gleams in their hands, touching our beach?