The Poet
#4
Hello Namyh-
I don't think the bold font adds anything, and reads like you are shouting.
Below, I've plucked out some of the phrases that resonated with me:


(02-10-2023, 08:11 AM)Namyh Wrote:  sculpts with words

foxhole words

no wind to make a flag of words unfurl

jewels within a chest
There is some interesting internal rhyming, though some of it seems a tad forced.  Being a fan of saying more with less, I believe that you could compress this one to avoid being redundant.

All that said, this one works within the FUN FORUM,
Mark
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Messages In This Thread
The Poet - by Namyh - 02-10-2023, 08:11 AM
RE: The Poet - by dukealien - 02-11-2023, 06:24 AM
RE: The Poet - by Namyh - 02-22-2023, 03:11 PM
RE: The Poet - by Mark A Becker - 02-23-2023, 02:19 AM
RE: The Poet - by Namyh - 03-16-2023, 07:30 PM



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