A Brother's Grip

[Mark A Becker]

Hi Mark,

Multiple readings brought forth these comments:

The title:  "brother" seems an essential word for the title, but "brotherly love", usually meant in the wider sense of love for all fellow humans, doesn't seem right.  I don't have any alternatives to suggest.  I struggle with titles for poems.

The poem seems to begin with a memory, then slide into a present day dream.  I guess I'm just wondering if that's how you meant it to be?

"my ears become dumbells":  the more I read that line, the more cartoonish (and out of step) it seems.  Again, I don't have alternatives to suggest, just noting my reaction to it.

Other than those few comments, the poem seems like a finished piece to me.

Tim

Thanks Tim-
you confirm the two things that I'm least happy about. 
Mark