The Lost Tribe (ver. 3)

[TranquillityBase]

[quote="TranquillityBase" pid='263082' dateline='1675879197']
The Lost Tribe

I remember you all-                                  Em dash, maybe?
Loris, editor and poet, a bear of a man,
Regie, queen of a love, hard as diamond,    comma? not sure about the 'a'
Paul, Vietnam Vet, playwright on a goof,
Margaret, sad madonna, love-sick,
whom I dreamt about last night.             Wasn't sure so I looked it up.  Pretty sure this is more grammatically correct.

Then the Library was in unexplained darkness,     I was a little confused by the transition here, not sure if my edit helps.
we were kissing,
I was so goddamned young
I mistook months for lifetimes.

Waking, I put on Patti Smith,
tracing your faces, hearing your voices,
replaying moments that made us a tribe
lost in the hieroglyphs of youth.

I resurrect the anguish and laughter
scattered and outlawed by time
gathered again in my mind.


TqB,
I obviously made some minor suggestions above.  I like your edits.  The last stanza reads better but I do feel something is lost in the connection between the 'moments' and the 'anguish and laughter'.  I played around with it but couldn't come up with anything better.  I was also a little thrown by the changing references of the pronouns but that could be me.  I only mention it so you know.
Thanks for the read.
Take care
bryn

Thanks for the notes and I'm definitely going to rework s. 2.  

"but I do feel something is lost in the connection between the 'moments' and the 'anguish and laughter'':  I'm not completely clear about what you mean, but I'll reread again, changing second stanza is likely to have a ripple effect I think.  

I feel like I need to be more concrete about those "moments" but was trying keep it brief.