Motion

[71degrees]

Motion

Even as the kids swing
free on a brand new rope,
granddaddy won't go near

    that gnarled old southern oak.

Being a fan of minimalistic writing, I applaud the effort here but question the use of a few words (e.g. Even, the, brand, old). Editing out wouldn't hurt the intent, whatever it might be (lynching, possible abuse, etc.). I actually like the openness of interpretation left to the reader.

Never a fan of starting a line w/'that' but not sure of any remedies.

Enjoyed the read.