The Stream by William Marsland.
#3
Great feedback WK.

thanks for the grammar points. and your other remarks.
i'll use them when i do an edit this week.

the first danced can def go as can big in the first stanza.

i'll think about the splashing but not sure because here i was going for repetitive.

anyway. thanks again for the good feedback Smile
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Messages In This Thread
The Stream by William Marsland. - by billy - 05-19-2010, 12:00 PM
RE: The Stream by William Marsland. - by wunderkind - 05-22-2010, 09:01 AM
RE: The Stream by William Marsland. - by billy - 05-22-2010, 09:06 AM
RE: The Stream by William Marsland. - by addy - 05-24-2010, 08:10 AM
RE: The Stream by William Marsland. - by billy - 05-24-2010, 08:17 AM



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