Half of me
#2
(01-01-2023, 05:13 AM)Bunx Wrote:  Compromise is the condition,
Prescribed over time.
Some mornings I see my reflection
knowing part my identity died.           nice intro

I morn my old symmetry,          mourn
as well as my old smile.
I miss the way I saw mountains,
a big backyard for endless miles.      a craggy backyard?  something besides "big"

Half of me recall these memories.
Fearless feelings where I was in control.
Secured in sceneries that inspired
endless ideas that made me whole.      inserted "that"            

Until I went too far.
Lost a trail made for one.
False signs, ghosts, illusions appeared.
Until all illusions had gone.

Lessons learned
from that surreal landscape.
Made half of me afraid
Never wanting to wander.
as if a moving shell.                          stanza is a good description of how loss paralyzes; I'd look for another last liine though

Disillusionment drained me,
Isolating skepticism restrained.
My original indenity buried
Under the concrete rubble of fear.    another really nice stanza

A year went by, ghosts at bay.
Lovers approached, seasons changed.
Eventually my former half blossomed             I think if you use "former", it's confusing as to which half you are referring to.
As if one seed in the debis.                  like a single seed?

I can't help but think of those flowers,
without significance.                           my favorite lines

I can't help but realize there is love within
perseverance.                                             
Hi Bunx,

If I didn't find your poem compelling, I wouldn't take the time to study it.  Hope my few early morning (my excuse if anything sounds crazy) notes are useful.

TqB
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Messages In This Thread
Half of me - by Bunx - 01-01-2023, 05:13 AM
RE: Half of me - by TranquillityBase - 01-01-2023, 08:53 PM
RE: Half of me - by Mark A Becker - 01-02-2023, 11:28 PM
RE: Half of me - by Bunx - 01-03-2023, 03:18 AM



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