Do You Remember?(edit)

[TranquillityBase]

July 4th
 
Do you remember
 
In the fit of our youth, how
we hiked the Appalachian Trail?
Backs weighted with loaded packs
sure-footed we strode over rock and root
putting winding miles under our boots
traversing above and beyond care.          this reads really well, sweet on the eye and brain
 
Do you remember
 
The clearing, five miles in, offering
the eagle’s view of the valley below.   sentence fragment if you care, kinda bothered me.
Our two-person tent pitched
among the peeling bark of white
birch.  Those nights we drank deep           not sure about "drank" I associate a fire with all my senses but not taste.  myabe "inhsle"
the firelight, its flickering shadow cast
against a canopy of trembling leaves, we slept
drunk on the hum of stars, our heart beat.     but of course without drank, you can't have drunk   or can you?
 
Do you remember
 
We sat on the rough rock of the precipice.
At our feet, the fertile dark of an unknown future        I'd go for something more interesting than unknown:  concealed, untold, anonymous?
stretching into the valley's depths, where
an unexpected night harvest of phosphor flowers        are there really flowers that glow in the dark?
bloomed for us far below.  Lovely climax

 I'd drop all the "Do you remember"s.  Maybe it could be the title.  Turn first line into a statement.

The poem (*minus the do you remembers) then stands alone and complete.  I was going to express one other reaction, though now that I've reread it several times, it seems less important.  Anyway, I feel like I'd like more detail about the people involved here.  They seem curiously faceless.  That was a first reading reaction.  

Tim