Do You Remember?(edit)

[Semicircle]

July 4th
 
Do you remember
 
In the fit of our youth, how       
we traversed the Appalachian Trail
backs weighted with    ...............................What were you carrying? The smaller details add authenticity points.
sure-footed we strode over rock and root   
putting winding miles under our boots     Putting and winding next to each other haults flow.
hiking above and beyond care.       'above and beyond' cliche
 
Do you remember         
 
The clearing, five miles in, offered      
an eagle’s view of the valley below.     eagle's eye view?
Our two-person tent pitched
among the peeling bark of white          Birch are known to be white.
birch.  Those nights we drank deep
the in firelight, its flickering shadows casting                  flickering shadows -- trembling leaves -- pealing bark
across a canopy of trembling leaves, we slept
drunk on the hum of stars, our heart beat.          Rhyming does not fit the theme of this poem, and adds very little.             
 
Do you remember
 
We sat on the rough rock of the precipice.
At our feet, the fertile dark of an unknown future             
stretching into the valley's depths, where
an unexpected night harvest of phosphor flowers
bloomed for us far below.

"Do you remember" should be the title, and july fourth, the journal entry. A memorabilia.

......................................................

This poem travels from point A to point B too quickly. 

The parts where you linger on the sensations of the environment are the most emersing, because it feels like you're reliving them.
Maybe linger on something uninmportant, everything seems more meaningful in hindsight.

..........

I see a lot of potential. Needs improvement.
SC