11-24-2022, 09:32 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-24-2022, 09:32 PM by RiverNotch.)
Thanks for the feedback!
Cleaned up, per most of your suggestions. I agree that there might be a better title for this, I just can't think of one. I also agree that by the two penultimate stanzas, the people talking don't really talk like people -- those are the two instances I really regret choosing a word as particular as "rations" for number 2 xD -- but I'm not really sure how to revise accordingly.
Cleaned up, per most of your suggestions. I agree that there might be a better title for this, I just can't think of one. I also agree that by the two penultimate stanzas, the people talking don't really talk like people -- those are the two instances I really regret choosing a word as particular as "rations" for number 2 xD -- but I'm not really sure how to revise accordingly.