Row 6

[TranquillityBase]

Just editing this poem now and reading over yere comments, I've realised that I gave the impression that the man in row 6 wanted a child but couldn't. What I wanted to convey (or at least hint at more than any suggestion of not being able to have a child) was the idea of him choosing not to have a child in the past (with a relationship potentially ending because of this), half-regretting it now, years later, when he sees the speaker and child sitting happily together. 

Rereading those lines:

In his heavy mouth, I see

a love that saw its end in talk

of children and their absence.

I now see what you mean, but it might need to be emphasized a bit more.  "their chosen absence"?  Something like that.
 



By the way, can I just ask whether it was clear from the below lines that the speaker didn't literally say this to the man in row 6, or is the clarification ("He'll never hear me") needed?



Don’t regret, I tell him,

that you’ll never suffer the dark moods

of mangled sleep, nights blent

into mornings and watercolour weeks.





Thanks a million,



Trev

I think "he'll never hear me" would be an excellent addition.  I understood you weren't actually saying it, but I still think the line would add a fine touch to the poem.