11-04-2022, 05:51 PM
Just editing this poem now and reading over yere comments, I've realised that I gave the impression that the man in row 6 wanted a child but couldn't. What I wanted to convey (or at least hint at more than any suggestion of not being able to have a child) was the idea of him choosing not to have a child in the past (with a relationship potentially ending because of this), half-regretting it now, years later, when he sees the speaker and child sitting happily together.
By the way, can I just ask whether it was clear from the below lines that the speaker didn't literally say this to the man in row 6, or is the clarification ("He'll never hear me") needed?
Don’t regret, I tell him,
that you’ll never suffer the dark moods
of mangled sleep, nights blent
into mornings and watercolour weeks.
Thanks a million,
Trev
By the way, can I just ask whether it was clear from the below lines that the speaker didn't literally say this to the man in row 6, or is the clarification ("He'll never hear me") needed?
Don’t regret, I tell him,
that you’ll never suffer the dark moods
of mangled sleep, nights blent
into mornings and watercolour weeks.
Thanks a million,
Trev